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The Worst Oscilloscope User Manual of All Time

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cookiejar
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Machine Translation
cookiejar   4/30/2014 9:35:50 PM
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If you want to turn your carefully prepared manual into something truly useless try this. 

Get on to Google Translate and translate it into another language and then back into English.  This is especially entertaining when you use some idomatic expressions.  Translating popular songs this way is a real hoot.

 

Then you'll get some idea as to why many manuals are so useless.

 

 

Max The Magnificent
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Re: Some assembly is required
Max The Magnificent   4/30/2014 10:07:17 AM
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@zeeglen: He was flabbergasted - had no idea what Heathkit was all about.


LOL


The thing is that it's easy for those of us who do this sort of thing to take a lot of things for granted. Based on this, it's easy for us to forget just how "lost" beginners can be. I'm working on a simple prototype spectrum analyzer just varying the intensity of a LED for each channel -- when I come to write this up, I will include the calculation for working out what series resistors to use with the different colored LEDs depending on whether you are using an MCU with 5.0V or 3.3V I/Os -- I'll do this because the folks who already know can skim over it, but I'm convinced that there will be at least one student or hobbyist who think's to themselves "So that's how it's done!"

Max The Magnificent
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Re: To read or not to read.....
Max The Magnificent   4/30/2014 10:00:35 AM
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@zeeglen: I also have a strong suspicion that the same person who wrote the manual also wrote the firmware.

It's that good?

Max The Magnificent
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Re: To read or not to read.....
Max The Magnificent   4/30/2014 9:58:31 AM
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@David: 
:
Or to take arms against a scope with troubles,
And by experimenting, end them?

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear....


newtoni
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And then, of course, there's pure machine translation
newtoni   4/30/2014 7:24:39 AM
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Hardware install:

If what to use is multimeter the RS-232s provide with the form connect a

people's line, the RS-232 pick up a people line of red unauthorized biography

lose the line to receive to carry to insert multimeter fix in the slot with a back of

the form protection, then go on-line of another on carry with computer of string

a right conjunction is then.

If what to use is multimeter the USB provide with the form connect a people's

line, the USB pick up a people line of red unauthorized biography lose the line to

receive to carry to insert multimeter fix in the slot with a back of the form

protection, then go on-line of another on carry with computer of string a right

conjunction is then.

zeeglen
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Re: Some assembly is required
zeeglen   4/29/2014 8:36:49 PM
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Max,
As you will have discovered when you opened the box, some assembly is required


Slightly off-topic, but this exact scene played out 40 years ago in a Heathkit retail store.  A customer came in wanting to buy a radio direction finder for his boat.  Brought it to him , he insisted the box be opened so he could see it.  Somewhat puzzled, I obliged.  He was flabbergasted - had no idea what Heathkit was all about.


zeeglen
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Re: To read or not to read.....
zeeglen   4/29/2014 8:28:58 PM
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Hi David,

Yes, these really are actual quotes from the user useless manual.
Or to take arms against a scope with troubles,

Darn!  My sledge hammer just fell on my scope...

I also have a strong suspicion that the same person who wrote the manual also wrote the firmware.

David Ashton
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To read or not to read.....
David Ashton   4/29/2014 8:22:16 PM
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With manuals like that cited by Zeeglen above, you often wonder whether it's just easier to try and work it out (with apologies to Shakespeare):
To read, or not to read: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The mis-spellings and errors of outrageous manuals,
Or to take arms against a scope with troubles,
And by experimenting, end them? 


David Ashton
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Re: Some assembly is required
David Ashton   4/29/2014 5:10:58 PM
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@Zeeglen... I begin to see why you hate Atten scopes so much... :-)

Max The Magnificent
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Re: Some assembly is required
Max The Magnificent   4/29/2014 1:48:53 PM
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@sheepdoll: It was the best of 'scopes, It was the worst of 'scopes...

Now you have my brain buzzing -- how about:

Elmer Gantry was drunk; he was eloquently drunk, lovingly and pugnaciously drunk, which is why we didn't let him have anything to do with the design of the fine oscilloscope you have in front of you (instead, he wrote this manual).

With apologies to Sinclair Lewis: Elmer Gantry (1926)


Or here's one more

It was the day my grandmother exploded (I always told her she should invest in a better oscilloscope, like the one you now see before you).

With apologies to Iain Banks: The Crow Road (1992)

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