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The Coagulated & Curdled Custard of Despair

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betajet
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Re: Daiquiri Icecream
betajet   6/30/2014 5:59:04 PM
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David wrote:  "It's also called Hooligan Juice.... "

One of my father's favorites when he was a lad was ginger ale (not Verner's :-) with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.  His jocular grandfather would have the same, but he'd add some whiskey to it and call the drink a "mule's neck".

betajet
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Re: Wiggly Things
betajet   6/30/2014 5:53:56 PM
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I grew up in Wisconsin, so Van is replaced with Ole (sometimes adding Sven and/or Inga).  Ole is by default Norwegian, unless you're Norwegian in which case Ole is Swedish.  If you're half-Norwegian and half-Swedish, Ole is Danish.

Speaking of which (International Wing of the Old Jokes Home):

A Scandinavian ocean liner shipwrecks on a desert island.  One year later, the Norwegians have built a fishing boat, the Finns have cut down all the trees, the Danes have formed a coöperative and the Swedes are still waiting for someone to introduce them to each other.

Max The Magnificent
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Re: Wiggly Things
Max The Magnificent   6/30/2014 5:03:46 PM
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@David: typical Van joke,,,got lots more for EELive 2015!!

Oh Joy -- something for me to look forward to (I think I'll start drinking now LOL)

Max The Magnificent
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Re: Never again... Never.
Max The Magnificent   6/30/2014 5:02:54 PM
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@Duane: I being the somewhat obedient kid that I was, and not wanting to waste it, drank the whole mug.

My tummy feels for you

David Ashton
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Re: Wiggly Things
David Ashton   6/30/2014 4:57:29 PM
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@Max...typical Van joke,,,got lots more for EELive 2015!!

Duane Benson
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Re: Never again... Never.
Duane Benson   6/30/2014 4:57:00 PM
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Max - I suspect that she was smart enough to take a smell before drinking up, or just take a sip and leave it at that. I being the somewhat obedient kid that I was, and not wanting to waste it, drank the whole mug.

Max The Magnificent
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Re: Never again... Never.
Max The Magnificent   6/30/2014 4:50:58 PM
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@Dunae: The smell is bad enough. You really don't want to experience it as a taste.

I love goat's cheese -- but I think I'll pass on chocolate milk made with expired goats milk (did your mom actually drink thsi cioncoction herself?)

Max The Magnificent
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Re: Wiggly Things
Max The Magnificent   6/30/2014 4:48:42 PM
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@David: And thirdly, I write with a ballpoint!"

Give me strength!!! LOL

Duane Benson
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Never again... Never.
Duane Benson   6/30/2014 4:47:05 PM
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I had an aunt that raised goats. We brought home an ample supply of goats milk after one of our visits - raw and unpasteurized goats milk. We didn't drink it fast enough, so we ended up with some less than fresh milk left over. My mom thought that by using it to make hot chocolate, we wouldn't notice that it was no longer fresh.

For those of you that haven't experienced it, goats, in person, have a very distinct and very strong musk smell. When goats milk ages past its consumable stage, it takes on an aftertaste that is very similar to that musk smell. The smell is bad enough. You really don't want to experience it as a taste.

The chocolate was not enough to hide the taste. Not even close. I understand that to some people, goat cheese is a bit of a delicacy. However, to this day, just the mention of goat cheese, goat's milk, or anything goat related brings that musk taste back to mind.

Just writing about it makes me shudder inside.

David Ashton
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Re: Wiggly Things
David Ashton   6/30/2014 4:39:13 PM
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(Talking of barmen...) There's a mythical character in South Africa called Van - short for Van der Merwe which is a very common surname.  He is a rather stupid but loveable character who is the butt of many jokes.  In one, he visits a Village pub in the UK.  The local Squire comes in, clicks his fingers at the barman and says "Harry, my usual, please!"

Harry the barman cracks a couple of raw eggs into a glass and hands it to the Squire.  He knocks them back and then sighs with satisfaction.

Van's curiosity is piqued.  "Excuse me", he says, "But why did you do that?"

The Squire replies "Well firstly my good man, it's none of your business.  Secondly, I happen to like it.  And thirdly, it puts lead in my pencil!"

Van is impressed.  Back in South Africa, he goes into his local bar.  "Hey, Van" says the barman, "Welcome back.  What are you having?"

"Give me two raw eggs in a glass" says Van.  "Van, are you mad?" asks the barman.   "Just do it!" replies Van.

He knocks back the eggs, can't stand the taste and spits them out.  "Gee, Van" says the barman" Why did you do that?"

Van replies,,,,

"Well firstly, my good man, it's none of your business"

"Secondly, I didn't like it"

And thirdly, I write with a ballpoint!"

 

 

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