I remember one day when my friend Carl brought a lie detector to our junior high school...
When I was around 12 years old, one of my best friends at school was a guy called Carl Clements. Carl was extremely clever and gifted – I often wonder what he ended up doing.
When the other kids were kicking a soccer ball around during the breaks, Carl would be sketching out circuit diagrams in the dust with his finger, showing me how to make an amplifier using a single bipolar junction transistor and stuff like that (we knew how to have a good time :-)
I remember one day when Carl brought a lie detector to school. It boasted all sorts of coils and wires and suchlike attaches to a wooden board. He would persuade people to hold the two contacts while he held the main board.
Carl would start by asking their name – they would reply and nothing would happen. Then he would say "Let's make sure it's working – I'm going to ask you a question and you tell a lie." So he would ask them something like "Are you a girl?" (The chances of the person being a girl were zero because it was a boys-only school). Upon replying "Yes" to this question the boy would receive a substantial electric shock.
Carl would then proceed to ask a bunch of other questions. Of course the whole thing was a spoof – Carl was triggering the shocks by hand using a hidden switch mounted under the board – he was only caught out when the victim received a shock and indignantly proclaimed "But that's true!"
The reason I'm waffling on about that here is that I just saw a rather good joke. I'm sure this one is an "old chestnut" but it's the first time I've seen it:
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that day. The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies." The dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" The son replies, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Ok, Ok we were watching porn." The dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was!" The robot slaps the father. The mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son!" The robot slaps the mother! End of Story P.S. Robot for sale!
In turn, this reminded me of those snippets from the Jimmy Kimmel show where he puts a fake lie detector on a kit's head – for example, take a peek at the following video:
Did anyone at your high-school come up with a spoof like this?
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When I was in jr. high school (8th grade), I also had an extremely gifted and talented friend who would bring little electronic gizmos to school. I remember flashers, beepers and a pill bottle set up to shock people. Kids in our boy scout troop called him "Mmmm Buzzz Click."
We'd be walking though the school hallway and he would stick out his hand with the shock bottle toward someone and say: "Here. Hold this." Anyone who complied, of course, got a nice little shock.
One day he was talking about an oscilloscope that he had made from an old TV. When I asked him how he knew how to do all of that, he said: "I don't know. I just know." To this day I find that a fascinating answer.
Sadly, brains weren't all that well respected in the little logger town I grew up in.
January 2016 Cartoon Caption ContestBob's punishment for missing his deadline was to be tied to his chair tantalizingly close to a disconnected cable, with one hand superglued to his desk and another to his chin, while the pages from his wall calendar were slowly torn away.122 comments