With plans to introduce its iGrill device at the 2011 Consumer Electronics Show next month in Las Vegas, iDevices Inc. of Canton, Conn., has engineered a startling breakthrough for those millions of cooks and foodies all over the world who have dreamed in vain, all these years, for some way to develop a meaningful dialog with their most beautiful culinary creations, from standing rib roasts to succulent racks of lamb.
It was rock 'n' roll legend Frank Zappa who first posed the possibility that humans might somehow carry on conversations with their food when he wrote the classic anthem, "Call Any Vegetable."
This poetic milestone in the delicate interface between people and produce included the lines, "Call any vegetable,/ Call it by name,/ And the chances are good/ That a vegetable will respond to you."
Today, thanks to iDevices, an undercooked vegetable, from deep within the oven, or a prime rib, even a 20-pound roast turkey, will not merely respond to a chef equipped with the iGrill wireless cooking thermometer for iPod touch, iPhone and iPad.
It will respond accurately and meaningfully. Moreover, thanks to its long-range Bluetooth capability, iGrill can enable this man/meat conversation over distances as far as 200 feet. A chef will be able to effectively cross-examine his or her pork tenderloin while watering the lawn, playing fetch with the family dog, or changing the baby's diaper.
Honest! This is a remote-control app, proudly announced by the PR folks at iDevices, for communicating with hot meat and tuna casseroles! I'm not making this up.
Besides the sheer efficiency of checking temperature and doneness in food items that range from deep-fried catfish to legs of mutton, the iGrill opens new vistas in human relationships with the edibles that nourish and sustain us, transforming them from mere lumps of flesh to friends sacrificing themselves that we may live and grow.
To be introduced at CES (booth No. 4435), iGrill turns your iPhone, iPod touch or iPad into your own personal sous-chef, enabling you to multitask between your grill or oven and guests with the peace of mind that your food is perfectly cooked, at target temperature and safe for consumption.
The first Bluetooth and App enabled device on the market today, iGrill consists of:
• iGrill Thermometer with Projection Display and Probe –
features easy-to-clean touch interface and multiple probe options.
• iGrill App for iPod, iPhone, & iPad - tells you status of
food via Bluetooth.
Spend time socializing instead of cooking—never burn your turkey again!
Besides bringing people closer than ever to their food and its deepest feelings, iGrill also promises to re-define the way people socialize among themselves. No longer will interesting conversations end up aborted by meat-temperature anxieties or the nagging fear of overdone Brussels sprouts! iGrill takes the labor-intensity out of meal preparation and offers back the second most valuable commodity of all: Time! Its secure, long-range Bluetooth connection lets you enjoy time with family and friends without compromising the quality of your cuisine!
And, of course, the most valuable commodity of all is love. And as much as you loved your roasts and meatloafs before, thanks to iGrill, you'll love them all the more after talking to them personally and hearing them answer—just before to cut them open and devour them.
David Benjamin is a novelist and humorist, who writes occasionally about technology for EE Times, usually from the Luddite point of view.