I'm on Gary Smith's "jokes list", which means I never know what's going to appear in my "Inbox"...
As I pen these words I’m sitting in the airport at Washington DC with my 17-year-old son Joseph. We’re waiting for our flight to Copenhagen, Denmark, and from there to Trondheim, Norway (see also Just call me Max the Viking!)
I just received an email from EDA Analyst and all round "good egg" Gary Smith (GarySmithEDA.com). I’m on his “jokes list”, which means I never know what’s going to appear in my “Inbox”. Anyway, Gary just send the following, which caused me to grin more than once…
A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part.
"Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a paraprosdokian.
Winston Churchill loved them.
- Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
- The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
- We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
- War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- Evening news is where they begin with “Good Evening,” and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal ideas from many is research.
- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
- I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
- Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, “In case of emergency, notify…” I put “DOCTOR.”
- I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
- Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
- A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
- You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive more than one time.
- Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
- There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
- I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
- You're never too old to learn something stupid.
- To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
- Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
- Where there's a will, there are relatives
Also, Click Here
to see a previous column I penned on this topic…
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