March 2012 caption contest: Major crater

3/1/2012 1:02 PM EST

"Quick...notify our legal and tech pub teams! We need a 'exercise extreme caution' disclaimer added to the product user guide!"

3/1/2012 1:25 PM EST

OK. New rule. PowerPoint presentations will now be ten slides max.

3/1/2012 2:56 PM EST

“Curious … this product self-recycling brochure states that at end of life, the product will be returned by the most direct way to the country of origin.”

3/1/2012 3:01 PM EST

Hmmmm.. I always knew this company had a direct portal to Hell.

3/1/2012 4:45 PM EST

I think Bill's experiment finally succeeded in creating a black hole...

3/1/2012 4:48 PM EST

"Sorry I'm late....is this where the presentation on the new concrete boring technology is??"

3/1/2012 5:26 PM EST

Somewhere in Iran engineers meet to discuss the latest nuclear developments.

3/1/2012 7:11 PM EST

The last thing the salesman said was, "If I'm not telling the truth, may lightning strike me."

3/1/2012 8:42 PM EST

One unfortunate side effect of the high price of crude oil encouraging inexperienced wildcat directional drilling near downtown LA.

3/1/2012 9:18 PM EST

This is not an entry for voting, I cribbed it from an old Gary Larsen 'Far Side' cartoon, but it seems to fit:

" OMG, it IS Bob. Clyde, see if you can figure out what the devil he was going to demonstrate to us, and the rest of you get back to work. "

3/1/2012 10:02 PM EST

Installing the lazy susan in the meeting room seemed like a good idea at first, but no one ever considered what might potentially happen if someone placed a box of doughnuts on it.

3/2/2012 10:49 AM EST

So that is what happens when you mix Mitch's coffee with a 5 hour energy drink.

3/2/2012 11:09 AM EST

The package label said, "Air Freight Drop Shipment."

3/2/2012 12:12 PM EST

I think corporate has downsized the table ...

3/2/2012 2:50 PM EST

WOW!!! COOL!!!! Where can I get one of those!!!

3/2/2012 2:52 PM EST

According to the agenda, Jim was going to demonstrate a time displacement field generator.

3/2/2012 2:52 PM EST

Let this be a lesson to us all: Never mix marketing and logic.

3/2/2012 2:54 PM EST

"I've seen this somewhere before...OH, MY GOD! Don't Flush!!!

3/2/2012 2:56 PM EST

Last thing I heard was Bob yelling, "This is Sparta!"

3/2/2012 2:59 PM EST

Typical Wall Street investment firm executive discussion of 'What just happened?', circa September 2008

3/2/2012 3:01 PM EST

All your LHC are belong to us...

3/2/2012 3:14 PM EST

I for one think we just make the self-destruct sequence a bit less user friendly.

3/2/2012 3:15 PM EST

Correction: "I for one think we should make the self-destruct sequence a bit less user friendly."

Apologies for the typo.

3/2/2012 3:40 PM EST

I didn't believe those rumors about this project being a black hole, until now.

3/2/2012 3:41 PM EST

I think we found out where the feature creeper creature lives!

3/2/2012 4:17 PM EST

Yep. The company founder is spinning in his grave.

3/2/2012 4:21 PM EST

Is this the meeting about how safe Fracking is?

3/2/2012 5:21 PM EST

The CEO dropped another bomb.

3/2/2012 7:35 PM EST

That went well.

3/2/2012 7:36 PM EST

The struggling company CEO surrenders his immunity idol and reluctantly sacrifices his golden parachute to the financial hole he created, while his management team looks on in absolute disbelief.

3/2/2012 7:36 PM EST

The last thing he said was "I'll come back stronger!"

3/2/2012 7:42 PM EST

It was supposed to make the hole go all the way to the wall. But it seems to have been enough anyway.

3/2/2012 8:43 PM EST

You let a software guy have a screwdriver?

3/2/2012 11:35 PM EST

"The manual said the mirrors should appear next. And that, ladies and gentlemen, will be our new campaign!"

3/3/2012 7:40 PM EST

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is the money-pit room, where cancelled project plans are unceremoniously sent to their final resting place, never to be seen again."

3/3/2012 11:47 PM EST

It was all too evident now that nothing more than vaporware had been developed.

3/5/2012 12:43 AM EST

John: "I think it's a case of spotaneous combustion."
Peter: "All I told to the sales dude is that there is no way we can design what he's just sold to customers."
Sarah: "He turned purple and screamed something about sales commission and then... and then..."

3/5/2012 1:08 AM EST

I believe what we have here again is another instantaneous localized inverse micro-singularity tear in the fabric of our space time continuum that critically cascaded into a parallel dimension of anti-reality when executives, management, sales, marketing, and other dense objects had a simultaneous group think on project requirements. Maybe next time they will think to ask engineering to these meetings.

3/5/2012 1:15 AM EST

Maybe we were not quite ready for that customer demo yet.

3/5/2012 1:15 AM EST

Hello, engineering’s here!

3/5/2012 1:16 AM EST

Hmm, we have got to figure out why that happens before we release this product.

3/5/2012 1:16 AM EST

Oh, I see you started the demo already.

3/5/2012 1:18 AM EST

Never let the CEO touch the keyboard. When he climbs out of this hole we are all fired.

3/5/2012 1:20 AM EST

Yes, we did follow YOUR requirements to the letter. Why?

3/5/2012 1:37 AM EST

Just in case, we embedded engineers still want to install a watchdog timer.

3/5/2012 1:45 AM EST

Strange, has that ever happened before and can you repeat the circumstances?

3/5/2012 2:09 AM EST

Oh look, management has their own lava pit. What’s even stranger is marketing wants to only talk to us engineers who use online dating sites. How's that going to reverse our sales slump?

3/5/2012 2:27 AM EST

And that concludes our Defense-R-US corp product demonstration. Any question?

3/5/2012 2:34 AM EST

Every year since then the company has been profitable and the stockholders never ask.

3/5/2012 2:46 AM EST

It’s been a month already, any one come up with a down side scenario to this yet?

3/5/2012 2:51 AM EST

Is this what Karma looks like?

3/5/2012 3:05 AM EST

Take a note: In future meetings never use “God” and “software” in the same sentence.

3/5/2012 3:12 AM EST

So, can engineering have more time to test our latest fusion battery design or are we still shipping today?

3/5/2012 3:19 AM EST

It could have been way worse. We could have been invited.

3/5/2012 6:59 AM EST

If you fail the design review, the boss pushes the button and the trap door opens.

3/5/2012 10:24 AM EST

nEEspresso, what else?

3/5/2012 12:18 PM EST

I think that AT penalty was a bit of overkill.

3/5/2012 4:28 PM EST

I guess that cold fusion really does work!

3/6/2012 11:30 AM EST

"I know it's quite late and it's been tough times getting here, but we've finally received our allocation of 'shovel ready' projects"

3/6/2012 11:35 AM EST

It'll be fine, just toss that big stiff rug over it; you know, that one in storage that has the ACME sign on it. Somebody with initials W.C. ordered it years ago but we never used it.

3/6/2012 4:54 PM EST

"Hey, Jack!! The 'No Smoking in the Workplace" policy applies there too!!"

3/6/2012 10:47 PM EST

Now THAT is what you call Thermal Runaway!

3/7/2012 2:59 PM EST

We first noticed the condition about the time one of our research employees made an unexpected appearance on the television program "Shark Tank".

3/7/2012 3:11 PM EST

Frank's anger management training failed spectacularly in a meltdown of epic proportions.

3/7/2012 6:04 PM EST

Well I heard that Mr. Cthulhu and Mr. Morningstar attended the same business school which explains the similar tastes in office décor.

3/7/2012 6:17 PM EST

Try putting in the battery in the other way.

3/7/2012 6:20 PM EST

Other than that, did you like it?

3/7/2012 6:27 PM EST

The enhanced features will not be enabled for this release.

3/7/2012 6:36 PM EST

Would you have any suggestions that could help us improve the user’s experience or add value to our product?

3/7/2012 6:42 PM EST

So the executive novelty cigar is still not funny enough and needs more bang for the buck?

3/7/2012 6:54 PM EST

So the executive novelty cigar is still not funny enough and needs more bang for the buck?

3/8/2012 2:09 AM EST

The Scrum Master reserved this conference room for the 15-minute Scrum Team daily standup meetings until yesterday, when the sprint burn down chart did exactly that.

3/8/2012 2:36 PM EST

Unfortunately neither our Governing Bylaws nor Robert's Rules of Order suggest a remedy for this particular meeting situation.

3/8/2012 3:48 PM EST

I knew someone had to tell him to stop sweeping that kind of garbage under the rug.

3/8/2012 4:06 PM EST

It was inconspicuous when first noticed, but this management has a habit of ignoring under the table issue like this, until one actually consumes their cover.

3/8/2012 6:17 PM EST

Next week, on "Top Engineer"....

3/8/2012 6:23 PM EST

There is no peer-reviewed, scientific proof that our product does that.

3/8/2012 6:25 PM EST

Humanity would have to wait a little longer for the Pocket Collider.

3/8/2012 7:52 PM EST

"OMG...It will be an absolute public relations nightmare if anyone sees this, and learns we recently bought surplus office furniture from Area-51!"

3/9/2012 2:23 PM EST

"Who wants to tell Facilities they really botched the CEO's 'on-site convenient location' directive for tonight's shareholder celebration Hawaiian luau pit?"

3/9/2012 2:25 PM EST

"I've always been told that when lemons come your way, make lemonade. Who wants to get the hot dogs and all the fixins?"

3/9/2012 2:44 PM EST

This is what happens when management tries to digest comments made by the engineering staff -) brain overload -) spontaneous combustion.

MAJ

3/9/2012 3:07 PM EST

I need to update the Gantt Chart for the high power density / ultra fast charge Li-Ion project schedule.

3/9/2012 3:08 PM EST

I told you the prototype needed a heatsink.

3/9/2012 3:35 PM EST

Oh great basement dwelling guru, we beseech thee to release thine final design document such that manufacturing may begin.

3/9/2012 3:42 PM EST

It's possible that the rooftop solar collector could have experienced an uncollected energy backup.

3/9/2012 4:04 PM EST

"See Phil, THIS is why you dont tell our CEO that the product will be delayed by another 5 months..."

3/9/2012 4:28 PM EST

Truthfully, is this really a problem or an opportunity?

3/9/2012 4:28 PM EST

Move up!

3/9/2012 4:30 PM EST

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going home at 5:00

3/9/2012 4:32 PM EST

So, how's that outsourcing thing working out?

3/9/2012 4:32 PM EST

Third sourcing parts again?

3/9/2012 4:34 PM EST

This is why we need the more expensive part.

3/9/2012 4:35 PM EST

Great idea sir, we'll get right on it.

3/9/2012 4:35 PM EST

Somebody call MythBusters!

3/9/2012 4:36 PM EST

As you can see, there may be a problem.

3/9/2012 4:59 PM EST

They say negotiations melted down.

3/9/2012 7:07 PM EST

"It appears they asked Engineering for a list of the project's unknowns for the purpose of risk mitigation..."

3/9/2012 7:42 PM EST

Each of the lucky five remaining managers of the original tight circle of ten pay tribute to
the Unlucky Five, who abruptly became economic pitfall casualties, attributed to postponed building maintenance.

3/9/2012 8:43 PM EST

So that's a "No" on recycled nuclear fuel rods for Standby power. And I'll let janatorial know they need to start early. Who's ready for donuts?

3/9/2012 9:21 PM EST

What did she mean when she said, "Double, double toil and trouble Fire burn, and cauldron bubble" right before THAT happened?

3/9/2012 10:13 PM EST

His "outlook.pst" file got a little too big...

3/10/2012 10:42 AM EST

After a lively discussion, one-half of the team broke ranks, put best foot forward and tackled the slippery slope ahead of them, while the other half wisely stood fast on principle.

3/10/2012 9:57 PM EST

We found the Higgs Boson.

3/10/2012 9:58 PM EST

Without doubt, a current sink.

3/12/2012 11:44 AM EDT

Looks like the boss had a real meltdown over our missed deadline.

3/12/2012 11:44 AM EDT

I warned Bob about having Chipotle for lunch.

3/12/2012 12:55 PM EDT

So Frank, how do you see it? Is the hole half-full or half-empty?

3/12/2012 6:40 PM EDT

HR suggested this team building exercise where you walk across this lavatube on a bridge you've built using only your shoelaces and ID badges. Good luck.

3/13/2012 11:17 AM EDT

Hmmmmm.. Someone should put up a sign.

3/13/2012 7:48 PM EDT

What remains of each apprentice self-confidence after being bluntly Trumped.

3/14/2012 6:24 AM EDT

Meeting of Kodak shareholders after their stock has fallen through the ground

3/14/2012 2:51 PM EDT

"Here's where Max the Magnificent discards the Daniel Guidera monthly cartoon unused reader caption submissions, on track for another record so he'll be very busy."

3/14/2012 3:25 PM EDT

Bob said he was going to be show something new he had brewed up.

3/14/2012 3:47 PM EDT

I thought the coffee was a little strong today...

3/14/2012 4:11 PM EDT

"After its initial novelty wore off, we all agreed to ignore and work around it."

3/14/2012 4:29 PM EDT

"That's not what I meant by 'penetrate the Chinese market'!"

3/14/2012 8:01 PM EDT

“Here's one unique pit. Including others down the hall we've affectionately nicknamed this area 'The Pits'.”

3/15/2012 2:08 PM EDT

and this is how our management keep themselves busy.

3/15/2012 2:38 PM EDT

A surprised lunchtime geocache team finds evidence of an extraterrestrial interest in the sport.

3/15/2012 3:04 PM EDT

The Product Marketing Resolution team digs deep to find some common ground.

3/15/2012 3:43 PM EDT

"Marketing could have overheard Engineering talk about no available ground access for the product demo."

3/16/2012 9:55 AM EDT

Now we can heat our coffee geothermally.

3/16/2012 9:58 AM EDT

This must be the reason why the old carpet was sagging.

3/16/2012 2:40 PM EDT

And he was just making a joke about global warming.

3/16/2012 2:42 PM EDT

We need a bigger heat sink.

3/16/2012 4:52 PM EDT

OK, I agree, the new solar concentrator design is perfect. However, when we set up the demo at our big customer's site, let's make sure the safety shutter mechanism actually works, FIRST!

3/16/2012 5:29 PM EDT

Open space crop circle successfully scaled to fit urban office space.

3/17/2012 8:19 PM EDT

And we may also be a teensy bit late.

3/17/2012 8:42 PM EDT

From whom in Moldaviastan did purchasing buy those parts from?

3/17/2012 8:47 PM EDT

We still suspect our Moldaviastan part suppliers may have counterfeit issues that could impact our design.

3/17/2012 10:17 PM EDT

I used to think "Project from Hell" was just a saying.

3/19/2012 1:07 AM EDT

I said timer light. Not dynamite.

3/19/2012 11:09 AM EDT

Well, it's official: The LHC can create mini black holes.

3/19/2012 1:44 PM EDT

Gee, it worked fine in the lab!

3/19/2012 1:44 PM EDT

Who let the smoke out! (to the tune of "Who let the dogs out").

3/19/2012 1:45 PM EDT

It never did that before!

3/19/2012 4:38 PM EDT

The person who overused business jargon one too many times.

3/20/2012 8:02 AM EDT

On the upside, it's probably a good thing we caught this bug before shipment.

3/20/2012 1:30 PM EDT

The problem resolution team endures a daily grind through underlying uncertainty, finally successful in creating a noticeable impact.

3/20/2012 4:53 PM EDT

The "debunker" guys on tv said don't try this at home, but Johnson just had to light the non dairy creamer....

3/22/2012 9:22 AM EDT

Herb accidentally left the prototype nuclear-powered coffee-maker on all night long. When the water in the resevoir boiled away, the core experienced a melt-down. It's probably somewhere in China by now.

3/22/2012 12:01 PM EDT

See I told you the new iPad got too hot

3/22/2012 6:54 PM EDT

So is this the opposite of putting our data in the cloud?

3/23/2012 2:13 PM EDT

Siri said it was OK to download both the Cold Fusion and Micro Hadron Collider Apps!

3/24/2012 1:15 AM EDT

The portable hole product is now a reality. I just didn't expect it to go THAT deep!

3/24/2012 1:17 AM EDT

The portable hole works, but there is a problem. I haven't yet figured out how to close it.

3/24/2012 1:30 AM EDT

Holy Holes Bateman! Now look what you've done!

3/25/2012 1:06 AM EDT

Despite the naysayers predictions, this time we really did get to the bottom of it!

3/26/2012 12:01 PM EDT

David Charles Hahn strikes again

3/26/2012 1:31 PM EDT

So..., that will conclude the smartphone demonstration with the new low power Atom processor.

3/27/2012 9:15 AM EDT

With the hole in the floor, we can keep our eyes directly on manufacturing.

3/27/2012 9:28 AM EDT

Hmmm...smells like he had Mexican for lunch.

3/27/2012 12:21 PM EDT

I told him not to push the red button...

3/27/2012 12:29 PM EDT

Larry - "What happend?"
John - "IT Installed Windows 8... Im guesing this is the new and improved Blue Screen of death."

3/27/2012 12:31 PM EDT

I told them the GOOGOL-Core processor was not ready.

3/27/2012 12:37 PM EDT

Nothing to see here, it’s just our mathematician’s resting place. He found an algorithm that determined all the prime numbers.

3/27/2012 12:39 PM EDT

"...was it Yaogan XI that landed here"

3/27/2012 12:43 PM EDT

Project Engineer-
"...and thats why you dont allow a anti-hydrogen cube at zero point energy to rapidly evaporate and come in contact with regular matter."
Newbie-
"So our ZPE-Electric Vehicle is of the project list?"

3/27/2012 12:51 PM EDT

CEO -"What happened here?"

Random Engineer- "... It’s all relative to an individual’s perspective sir. Some call it the great recession, others call it the housing market bubble, I call it the black hole."

CEO -"How can we avoid it?"

Same Random Engineer-"Well that is simple however few will agree with me. Just don’t invest in material goods that hold their value indefinitely even though their structural integrity is not maintained. Law of thermodynamics has shown us that everything wants to go to a higher energy state in turn causing decay and instability."

CEO -"English Please."

A Different Random Engineer -"You sure chief? Your CFO which currently lies at the bottom of this pit asked the same question. See as it stands we are not doing so good financially."

3/29/2012 4:21 AM EDT

It will soon dawn on the people in the room that the 1st annual corporate "Hunger Games" have begun.

3/30/2012 10:57 AM EDT

Today, Design Team 433 discovered where 'good ideas' come from...

3/30/2012 12:09 PM EDT

Holy Holes Bateman! You fought the Devil and the Devil lost!!!

3/30/2012 4:06 PM EDT

We can be sure Marketing will advertise it as the next hot product.

3/30/2012 4:38 PM EDT

So...due to yet another budget cut, this is the new cost efficient way to communicate with out Shanghai office...HEELLOOOH! CAN YOU HEEEAAAR US?!? LETS STAART THE MEEETING!

3/30/2012 4:41 PM EDT

Please ignore last entry. Fixing typo:

So...due to yet another budget cut, this is the new cost efficient way to communicate with our Shanghai office...HEELLOOO! CAAAN YOOOU HEEEAAAR USSS?!? LET'S STAART THE MEEETING!

3/30/2012 11:20 PM EDT

And I used to think that JAPANESE toilets were strange!

4/3/2012 5:54 AM EDT

Did somebody flush the cache?

5/7/2012 10:33 PM EDT

Assembling all of the MBAs in one meeting quickly got them to where they had the company heading.