Yum Yum – canned uranium ore!

Do you remember way back in the mists of time when I wrote a blog about a Radiation Dose Chart? Following this, I built myself a DIY Geiger Counter … but my Little Beauty didn’t count.

I didn’t know whether this was simply due to the fact that I didn’t have a source of radiation, so I sent it off to my friend David Ashton in Australia.

Almost as soon as I'd dropped my Geiger Counter in the post, Nick Bricteux sent two radioactive marbles to me, thereby allowing me to proclaim in all honesty that I am the proud possessor of a pair of Radioactive Balls.

Happily, Davis sorted out the problem, and he even wrote a column about it called How to make a Geiger counter count. And as soon as the little rascal was back in my hands (the Geiger counter, not David), I took a video of it clicking away in my office.

But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about…

A few days ago, a reader emailed me with a link to a can of uranium ore that you can purchase from Amazon.com. Give me strength! They really do sell just about everything these days, don’t they?


One funny thing about all of this is the section that says "Customers who viewed this item also viewed…" Would you care to make a guess? Well, how about:

• Canned Unicorn Meat
• A UFO Detector
• A 32 ounce container of Wolf Urine Lure
• A soil sample from Roswell

Actually, all joking apart, I think I have sufficient Wolf's Urine on hand to satisfy my current and foreseeable requirements, and the canned unicorn is rather tasty (or so I've been told). But the really funny thing about the can of uranium ore page is the comments, for example:

Example #1: Ran out of toothpaste, and remembered how you're supposed to be able to use baking soda to clean your teeth, so of course, I accidentally used this instead, and Wow! all I can say is, my teeth have never been cleaner! They sparkle, they tingle, and for some reason, they STAY clean now, no matter what.

Example #2: Is this U-235 or U-238 I need the right isotope for my home-reactor with the correct atomic properties to ensure the flux capacity for power peaking.

Example #3: I bought this product for my son's science fair project and now he has created a swarm of ZOMBIES. Please help they cut off our phone lines and locked us in the computer room. Our Address is 1234 Brainless Dr.

Example #4: I have been using this product (well, I bought about a hundred of them), and I still have not gotten my super-powers. Is there anyway the manufacturer can send me some info and maybe a timeline as to how long this is supposed to take? I have these bits duct tape all over my body, but all I'm getting is an annoying rash and these weird lumps on my head and testicles. I hope this doesn't mean I'm getting some lame ass unicorn powers, because the one lump is on the side of my head and that would look bloody silly to have a Power Horn there. Not to mention I'll have to do some severe work on my jockey shorts if the horns sprout there.

Example #5: Did not work as I expect! I buy for project, we make great reactor! Suddenly reactor turns too hot, big explosion! Now city is destroyed and horror movie is made about place... Worst of all we make Sweden angry! They say we give them radioactive animals! Is lie, we only contaminate little bit of Russia! I put picture of result in customer images. Not happy with this.

Since there are approximately 350 such reviews on Amazon, this should keep us all busy for quite some time (I'd love to hear which comment you think is the funniest).

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