Max's Cool Beans
There's punography everywhere!
Clive Maxfield
8/9/2012 10:55 AM EDT
I just received an email from EDA Analyst Gary Smith (www.garysmitheda.com) containing a positive plethora of puns. Does this count as "punography"?
According to the Wikipedia: "The pun, also called paronomasia, is a form of word play which suggests two or more meanings, by exploiting multiple meanings of words, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect. These ambiguities can arise from the intentional use and abuse of homophonic, homographic, metonymic, or metaphorical language."
Good grief. This description is so dry it's almost funny in its own right. Anyway, check out the puns from Gary below. Some of them are really rather funny … well, at least they made me laugh (grin).
How about you – do you know any good puns? If so, please share (a) the funniest puns you know and (b) the painful puns that really make one groan :-)
If you found this article to be interest, visit Microcontroller / MCU Designline where – in addition to my Max's Cool Beans blogs on all sorts of "stuff" – you will find the latest and greatest design, technology, product, and news articles with regard to all aspects of designing and using microcontrollers.
Also, you can obtain a highlights update delivered directly to your inbox by signing up for my weekly newsletter – just Click Here to request this newsletter using the Manage Newsletters tab (if you aren't already a member you'll be asked to register, but it's free and painless so don't let that stop you [grin]).
Last but certainly not least, make sure you check out all of the discussions and other information resources at All Programmable Planet. For example, in addition to blogs by yours truly, microcontroller expert Duane Benson is learning how to use FPGAs to augment (sometimes replace) the MCUs in his robot (and other) projects.
According to the Wikipedia: "The pun, also called paronomasia, is a form of word play which suggests two or more meanings, by exploiting multiple meanings of words, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect. These ambiguities can arise from the intentional use and abuse of homophonic, homographic, metonymic, or metaphorical language."
Good grief. This description is so dry it's almost funny in its own right. Anyway, check out the puns from Gary below. Some of them are really rather funny … well, at least they made me laugh (grin).
- I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
- When chemists die, they barium.
- Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
- I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
- They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
- We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
- I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
- When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
- Broken pencils are pointless.
- I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
- I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
- I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
- All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
- Haunted French pancakes give me the creapes.
- Velcro — what a rip off!
- A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy
- Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
- The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.
- Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
How about you – do you know any good puns? If so, please share (a) the funniest puns you know and (b) the painful puns that really make one groan :-)
If you found this article to be interest, visit Microcontroller / MCU Designline where – in addition to my Max's Cool Beans blogs on all sorts of "stuff" – you will find the latest and greatest design, technology, product, and news articles with regard to all aspects of designing and using microcontrollers.
Also, you can obtain a highlights update delivered directly to your inbox by signing up for my weekly newsletter – just Click Here to request this newsletter using the Manage Newsletters tab (if you aren't already a member you'll be asked to register, but it's free and painless so don't let that stop you [grin]).
Last but certainly not least, make sure you check out all of the discussions and other information resources at All Programmable Planet. For example, in addition to blogs by yours truly, microcontroller expert Duane Benson is learning how to use FPGAs to augment (sometimes replace) the MCUs in his robot (and other) projects.
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Paul A. Clayton
8/9/2012 11:43 AM EDT
A groaner in response to http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2012-02-21 (where Dilbert finds the Higgs Boson, and the boson--being the God Particle--says "Build an Ark!"): "It figures that a bos'n would ask for a boat."
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Max the Magnificent
8/9/2012 11:47 AM EDT
GREAT cartoon -- and the comments are interesting also -- especially the one "If it had said 'go forth and multiply' the next pic would have been Dilbert on a calculator" :-)
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ReneCardenas
8/10/2012 11:51 AM EDT
Max,
I enjoyed the list, specially
•All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on". In my opinion the perfect pun.
Liverpool but not kidney banks ... LoL
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Max the Magnificent
8/10/2012 12:13 PM EDT
It's good to seem something that makes you grin every now and again, sn;t it?
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Wnderer
8/10/2012 1:24 PM EDT
Now I know why they refer to you as a pun gent.
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Max the Magnificent
8/10/2012 1:36 PM EDT
LOL -- Is this a cunning reference to my "Mommy, why does that man smell of coconuts?" blog? http://bit.ly/TorDyu
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Wnderer
8/10/2012 2:01 PM EDT
Of course!
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Max the Magnificent
8/10/2012 2:05 PM EDT
Well, in that case you win the prize... "Give that boy a coconut!" :-)
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ReneCardenas
8/10/2012 4:21 PM EDT
Max, BTW I have to report, that I am using the healthier choice for deodorant to my delight. It
works! At 104 F at noon lately, it has exceeded my expectations.
Thanks a bunch
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Max the Magnificent
8/11/2012 12:28 PM EDT
The surprising thing is that it actually smells OK, doesn't it? :-)
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zeeglen
8/10/2012 6:33 PM EDT
The CEO of a cable manufacturing company spent an evening on the town. When he got home his wife asked "Wire you insulate?"
The vacuum-tube-enthusiast audiophile had a collection of pet toads. One day he left the door to their pen open, they escaped, he spent the whole night trying to pentodes.
Then there was the songwriter who got tired of ballads and decided to triodes.
Before I knew better I tried to make a 120VAC light dimmer with a radio volume control. I guess you could say I smoked a little pot.
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Max the Magnificent
8/11/2012 12:29 PM EDT
Good Ones!!!
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csquared
8/10/2012 8:22 PM EDT
I do not consider myself a punster, I prefer to think of myself as a cunning linguist.
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Max the Magnificent
8/11/2012 12:30 PM EDT
That's a bit of a tongue-twister :-)
For myself, I'll bend over backwards to be flexible, and I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous :-)
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one_armed_bandit
8/16/2012 2:42 PM EDT
Ummm .. I did!
I now do everything single-handedly, although I am frequently stumped.
Good thing I gave up my left arm to be a two-fisted drinker. It was a great deal: arm & leg, half-price.
If you ever lend someone a hand, make *sure* you get it back.
Alms for the poor! alms for the poor! Please make them left alms for the poor!
Finger food is just an expression. Don't chew your fingernails && forget to stop.
I used to use the Palm Pilot. The erase function got me.
(And a giant tip to Spider Robinson.)
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Max the Magnificent
8/19/2012 3:57 PM EDT
LOL
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SteveD_Aus
8/20/2012 8:14 PM EDT
Don't eat chicken with your fingers - you should eat your fingers separately.
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Max the Magnificent
8/21/2012 11:12 AM EDT
The tears rolling down my cheeks are not tears of laughter :-)
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seaEE
8/10/2012 9:17 PM EDT
Grape pun list! I peeled with laughter before I was half finished.
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electrofun
8/11/2012 12:04 AM EDT
These are awful! You should all be charged with battery and thrown in a dry cell. ;-)
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Max the Magnificent
8/11/2012 12:30 PM EDT
LOL
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Max the Magnificent
8/11/2012 12:30 PM EDT
:-)
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I_B_GREEN
8/12/2012 5:22 PM EDT
Freedom is not spelled with a U and a B.
Freedom not FreeDumB
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J_Alan
8/13/2012 9:38 AM EDT
Not many people know that one of NASA's greatest worries about the latest rover landing was that there might have been cats on Mars. If so, the rover was sure to land on one and squish it.
After all, Curiosity killed the cat...
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Max the Magnificent
8/13/2012 11:07 AM EDT
Arrggghhh!!!! :-)
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Rcurl
8/14/2012 8:22 AM EDT
Don't Arrgggghhh, you!
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KB3001
8/13/2012 1:08 PM EDT
Here is an old favourite of mine: what lies between sex and fear? fünf! :-)
PS. I know it's baaaaaaaaad...
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antedeluvian
8/13/2012 1:24 PM EDT
"PS. I know it's baaaaaaaaad"-
you must be feeling sheepish!
Wool you fleece apologise.
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Max the Magnificent
8/13/2012 1:35 PM EDT
What have I started... Oh the horror!
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KB3001
8/14/2012 11:13 AM EDT
I apunogise!
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EB2
8/14/2012 8:55 AM EDT
If I eliminate all of the resistors, capacitors, and inductors that I can in my designs, does that make me passive aggressive?
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Max the Magnificent
8/17/2012 11:25 AM EDT
LOL
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JGrubbs
8/14/2012 9:02 AM EDT
Alexander Graham Bellinski was the first telephone Pol.
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Max the Magnificent
8/17/2012 11:25 AM EDT
Good one!
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S.Gilden
8/14/2012 11:41 AM EDT
Some of these are pretty sharp ,
while others are quite the stretch,
Some of these might o’pun some doors,
and maybe pay some rent…
Now we’re ready to cut to the chase,
‘cause reading this is "Shear Punishment"!
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Max the Magnificent
8/17/2012 11:24 AM EDT
Arrgghhhh
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mosspp
8/16/2012 9:23 PM EDT
Did you hear about the guru who refused Novocain when he had a tooth pulled? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
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Max the Magnificent
8/17/2012 11:24 AM EDT
This one brought a chuckle :-)
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wcolley3
8/20/2012 8:54 AM EDT
Giving it your best shot to needle me, I see. Well, at least you're injecting some levity which ain't all that painful.
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Max the Magnificent
8/20/2012 9:23 AM EDT
I had no idea as to the horror I would unleash when I posted this blog...
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mosspp
8/20/2012 3:30 PM EDT
This one reminded me of the guy who refused to pay in advance when he went to the emergency room to have a wound patched up. The intern on duty curtly replied, "OK, suture self."
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EB2
8/21/2012 9:04 AM EDT
"I hope you get through your upcoming wedding without a hitch!
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Max the Magnificent
8/21/2012 10:43 AM EDT
This triggered so many jokes in my head -- but they aren't ones I can tell here...
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