@Adam: My Hawaiian shirts aren't "loud" -- they are just happy and colorful and exuberant and they whisper seductively in your ear things like "I bet you wish you were man enough to wear a little beauty like me!"
What are you talking about? I can't even spell oxymoron :-)
As a total aside -- do you remember that Peter O'Toole film in which the doctor says something like: "I'm afraid to say that your son is a paranoid schizophrenic." And the other person replies: "He's can't be – we've always been Church of England!"