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betajet
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The world's shortest stand-up routine
betajet   1/4/2014 2:45:13 PM
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There are only a handful of really good mathematics jokes, and each one requires more math so you lose more of the audience.  For example, this one:

Q: What do you get if you cross an owl with an elephant?

A: Owl elephant sin(theta).

Q: What do you get if you cross an owl with a mountain climber?

A: Can't do it, a mountain climber's a scaler.

Then there's the Polish Airline joke, the Calculus joke, and a really good one about a topologist.

dec66
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Number Jokes
dec66   1/6/2014 8:30:24 AM
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A classic and one of my favorites:

"There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't"

betajet
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Diminished Radix Compliment
betajet   1/6/2014 9:40:30 AM
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That's a pretty good joke, but not in my top 10 (base TBD).  I guess this is a diminished radix compliment.

Max The Magnificent
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Re: Diminished Radix Compliment
Max The Magnificent   1/6/2014 11:21:19 AM
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@betajet: I guess this is a diminished radix compliment.


Good One!!! LOL

David Ashton
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Re: Number Jokes
David Ashton   1/6/2014 3:12:56 PM
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@Dec66...I just used the 10 kinds of people one in my article

http://www.eetimes.com/author.asp?section_id=36&doc_id=1320533

It's an oldie but a goodie.

muddydummy
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Re: Number Jokes
muddydummy   1/7/2014 1:31:45 PM
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Here's a good variant:

There are 10 kinds of people: Those who don't know binary, those who know it when they see it, and those who don't forget you could also have a ternary number.

lukemiller
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Re: Number Jokes
lukemiller   1/7/2014 1:51:54 PM
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jackOfManyTrades
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Re: The world's shortest stand-up routine
jackOfManyTrades   1/7/2014 2:56:26 AM
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Well you've lost me. I even tried saying them out loud in an American accent (I'm British). Still nothing. Them seem to rely on some word that sounds a bit like owl. Obviously, it won't be funny if you have to explain it, but I'm curious nevertheless.

betajet
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Re: The world's shortest stand-up routine
betajet   1/7/2014 8:51:15 AM
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"Owl elephant sin(theta)" tells you that "owl cross elephant" means the cross product of two 3-D vectors.  Cross product requires that both operands are vectors: you cannot calculate a cross product if an operand is scalar (not a vector), which sounds like scaler (someone who scales mountains).  The punchline recalls learning about cross products in maths class, where the instructor kept saying "you can't calculate A x b because b is scalar".

I particularly like the joke because it combines two genres: math jokes and elephant jokes.  However, it does have a limited audience and I had to have it explained to me the first time too.

jackOfManyTrades
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Re: The world's shortest stand-up routine
jackOfManyTrades   1/7/2014 9:20:27 AM
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Ah, thank you. I must have learnt about the cross product at univeristy, but 24 years of doing other things have wiped it from my memory. Or 24 years of drinking beer...

Max The Magnificent
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Re: The world's shortest stand-up routine
Max The Magnificent   1/17/2014 12:03:03 PM
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@JackOfMantTrades: Or 24 years of drinking beer...

I'll drink to that!

AZskibum
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Number insults
AZskibum   1/6/2014 1:20:20 PM
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The letter i says to the letter pi, "be rational." Pi replies, "get real."

Max The Magnificent
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Re: Number insults
Max The Magnificent   1/6/2014 2:58:20 PM
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@AZskibum: The letter i says to the letter pi, "be rational." Pi replies, "get real."

Good one -- and certainly one that Luke could use for his strip.

zeeglen
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Re: Number insults
zeeglen   1/6/2014 3:40:40 PM
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

Max The Magnificent
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Re: Number insults
Max The Magnificent   1/6/2014 4:48:55 PM
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@zeeglen: The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

Arrggghhhhh LOL

lukemiller
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Re: Number insults
lukemiller   1/6/2014 5:49:24 PM
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Thats good....

zeeglen
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Re: Number insults
zeeglen   1/7/2014 9:19:52 AM
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The Sir Cumference joke is not mine, here is another groaner:

A redneck's kid came home from school, and the redneck asked "What did you learn in school today?"

"We studied pi R squared"

"What?  Everybody knows that pies are ROUND!"

kenw1213
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Max does comics
kenw1213   1/6/2014 1:22:34 PM
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"Now I want my own cartoon strip. But what should I call it?"

I think you should just call it "MAXims".

Max The Magnificent
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Re: Max does comics
Max The Magnificent   1/6/2014 2:59:16 PM
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@kenw1213: I think you should just call it "MAXims".

LOL -- now all I have to do is learn how to draw :-)

David Ashton
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Would a limerick do?
David Ashton   1/6/2014 6:45:06 PM
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One of my favourites is a limerick about Klein bottles:

A mathematician named Klein

Thought the Möbius Strip was divine

Said he, "If you glue
The edges of two

You get a weird bottle like mine."

There's a lot more here

http://www.kleinbottle.com/cartoons_and_limericks.htm

seaEE
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FPGA
seaEE   1/6/2014 11:25:42 PM
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Call it FPGA: Funny Punny Giggles Ahead

 

Q: What's purple and commutes?

A: An abelian grape

jackOfManyTrades
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I O topology
jackOfManyTrades   1/7/2014 2:58:36 AM
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I see a car last year with the bumpersticker "I O topology".

Randa11
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Number Jokes
Randa11   1/10/2014 10:13:15 AM
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Did you hear about the numerologist (used to be a computer programmer, but they don't seem to get involved at this level any more) who kept celebrating Xmas early because:-

Oct 31 = Dec 25

Max The Magnificent
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Re: Number Jokes
Max The Magnificent   1/17/2014 12:04:09 PM
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@Randa11: Oct 31 = Dec 25

Arrggghhh -- these are the jokes The Muppet Show refused LOL



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