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Root beer
1/17/2014 1:21:38 PM
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If you put root beer in a square glass, do you get real beer?

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Noah and the snakes
1/17/2014 1:28:29 PM
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Here is one I read in Scientific American many years ago.

It's after the flood, the waters have receded and the ark has grounded. Noah kicks down the ramp and says to the animals "Go forth and multiply!" All goes well until the snakes come to the door. "But Noah, we cannot multiply, for we are adders."

Noah is irritated. He grumbles, then grabs his axe and goes off toward a nearby forest. He chops down enough wood to make a crude table. Then he goes back to the ark and says to the snakes "Behold, I have built you a table of logs. Now you adders can multiply!"

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Re: Root beer
1/17/2014 1:42:17 PM

I like this one:

Q: Why can't computer scientists distinguish between Christmas and
Halloween?
A: Because  oct(31) = dec(25)

(The site didn't seem to let me post a reply to the main article...)

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Number joke
1/17/2014 1:43:04 PM
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1 saves
There are 10 kinds of people. Those who know binary and...

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Sir Cumference?
1/17/2014 1:48:12 PM
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Well, mathematical AND kinky!

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Re: Root beer
1/17/2014 2:06:49 PM
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Gender selection joke
1/17/2014 2:18:36 PM
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A Native American woman wants desperately to have a son, so she asks her tribe's shaman if there is something she can do to make sure she has a son instead of a daughter.  He gives her a buffalo hide and tells her always to sleep on it.  Another woman has the same request.  He gives her an elk hide and tells her always to sleep on it.

A third woman has the same request.  At this point the shaman has run low on hides, but he finds an old hippopotamus hide and gives it to the woman.

Nine months later the first two women give birth to sons, and the third gives birth to twin sons.  There is much amazement over the twins and the people ask the shaman to explain this wonderful occurrence.  He tells them that all shamans know that "the sons of the hippopotamus hide are always equal to the sum of the sons of the other two hides."

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The Calculus Joke
1/17/2014 2:26:51 PM
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There once was a mathematician who always ate lunch at the same diner.  He became quite friendly with the waitress who served him at his usual table.

One day he told her: "I'm going to bring a friend tomorrow and I want to play a joke on him.  I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to answer: X squared over two.  Got it?  X squared over two."

She says fine, and the next day the mathematician brings his friend to lunch.  At one point, the mathematician says: "You know, these days everybody knows calculus.  Here, let me show you."

He signals the waitress, and when she comes he asks her: "What's the integral of x dx?"

She answers: "X squared over two... plus a constant."

[This is an important joke to tell your class when teaching calculus -- it's a great way to remember the constant.]

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Topologist joke
1/17/2014 2:42:36 PM
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An an experiment, an engineer, a physicist, and a topologist are each locked in a room with a can of food but no can opener: all they have is pencil and paper.

The next day, the engineer's pencil and paper are unused, and the walls are covered with dents.  The engineer is sitting on the floor eating from the open can: he threw it against the walls until it cracked open.

The physicist's paper is covered with formulas, there is one dent in the wall, and the physicist is eating too.  He calculated exactly how to throw the can against the wall so it would crack open the first time.

When they open the topologist's room, the paper and walls are covered with formulas, the can is still closed, and the topologist has disappeared.  There are strange noises coming from inside the can.  Someone gets a can opener and opens it.  The topologist pops out and says "Thanks guys!" and adds somewhat sheepishly "I got one of the signs wrong".

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Re: Number joke
1/17/2014 3:29:07 PM
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More properly:

There are 10 kinds of people in this world.  Those that can extrapolate from available data....

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