I thought that a Scots word would be closer to your homeland than a Martian word. Then again, maybe I have your homeland wrong.
"Do I look like a fartshadeter?"
Oy, vey! No! Had to look around for that one! It's just that your knowledge seems boundless. All Hail Max the Magnificent!
fartshadeter—A bewildered, befuddled person. This is a word appropriate even for someone to say about oneself. Highly unexpected events can fartshader you. "I'm all fartshadet because my daughter told me she's pregnant." "So what's to be fartshadet?" "You don't understand—she's still single."