"...the custard was in the vats, not the dinner ladies, although I fear it would have been hard to taste the difference."
This is one of the funniest things I have read in a long time.
Anyway, mine is cube steak. I can barely describe this pucky meat because I've supressed the memories so thoroughly. (Thanks for helping me dredge that one up, Max.) All I can remember is that my older brother (the oldest kid) liked it, or said he said (suck up!), so we ate it alot. I'm sure my parents found that very convenient because it was the cheapest meat in the store, even cheaper than the imitation cube steak which sat right next to it.
Making matters worse is how it was cooked. Low grade cuts of meat have their place if prepared well, but wow, my mother must have been in a hurry every night we ate it.