Two English girls, Jean and Mary, are at the Highland Games. They are marvelling at the brawny scots tossing cabers around and suchlike. Jean says to Mary "I wonder if they wear anything under the kilt?" "I don't know" replies Mary.
Jean says "Well why don't we ask one of them? You go and ask that one there, he looks friendly!"
So Mary timidly approaches the brawny Scot. "Excuse me", she says, Can you tell me if anything's worn under the kilt?"
"Nooo!" he replies, "Everything's in purrfect worrrking orrder!"
Slightly further off topic, but not totally unrelated, you might have seen this already, but "not bending over" reminded me of this music video by Weird Al <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-0TEJMJOhk>
We once overnighted at a hotel just next to the Atlanta airport. We walked across the road to a Ruby Tuesdays for a late supper. I have NEVER seen so many weirdos in one place. For a while I was scared that someone would turn on us for being too normal. One guy who walked in was wearing the black kilt and he was pretty low-key compared to the rest of the bunch.
Wow, look at all the extra storage you would have in one of those. You could probably lighten your luggage a bit by keeping the stuff you want to access quickly in the pockets of that kilt. That guy had the right idea, think of all the beer cans you could stash. Of course, I suspect going through the terminal inspection process might be a bit frantic.