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Duane Benson
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I could spend days listing them
Duane Benson   8/18/2014 3:16:58 PM
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Customers love it! - We showed it to some guy and he didn't hate it.

Bob from National TV gives it four stars. - And Bob, from national TV is whom????

Duane Benson
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Blogger
Re: I could spend days listing them
Duane Benson   8/18/2014 3:19:46 PM
Optional one year buyer protection plan for only $75.00. - It will break in a year and a half, but you've just doubled my profit.

100% comprehensive satisfaction guarantee. - If you're not happy, I dare you to try and get through our automated call dungeon

Max The Magnificent
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Re: I could spend days listing them
Max The Magnificent   8/18/2014 3:20:52 PM
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@Duane: Customers love it! - We showed it to some guy and he didn't hate it.

That one rings so true :-)

Max The Magnificent
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Re: I could spend days listing them
Max The Magnificent   8/18/2014 3:22:51 PM
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@Duane: Bob from National TV gives it four stars. - And Bob, from national TV is whom?

It's like the TV adds for cars where everyone wins some type of award from "J D Powers and Associates" ... who the $%^& is J D Powers (is this a real person or a marketing fiction?) and who are his/her associates when they are at home?

 

Max The Magnificent
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Re: I could spend days listing them
Max The Magnificent   8/18/2014 3:24:22 PM
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@Duane: Optional one year buyer protection plan...

I never take those -- my experiance has been that if the thing is going to break, it will do so one day after the protection plan expired :-) 

Max The Magnificent
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Re: I could spend days listing them
Max The Magnificent   8/18/2014 3:25:02 PM
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@Duane: If you're not happy, I dare you to try and get through our automated call dungeon...

You sound very bitter for one so young...

Measurement.Blues
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CEO
What about "Solution?"
Measurement.Blues   8/18/2014 4:23:58 PM
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@Max, you forgot the most overused word in marketing for the last several years: Solution. Nobody sells products or services anymore, the sell Solutions.

So, what's the problem?

betajet
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CEO
Portable, e.g., "Portable TV"
betajet   8/18/2014 4:29:32 PM
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Old timers here will remember when "portable" meant "product has a really strong built-in handle able to carry the product's weight".  Example: 40-pound "portable" TV.

betajet
User Rank
CEO
"Instant On"
betajet   8/18/2014 4:35:46 PM
"Instant On", i.e., always on.  Our product takes 30 seconds to boot, so the only way we can make it look like it turns on instantly is to have it on all the time.  If you hit the "off" button, the only thing that turns off is the power LED.

 

Max The Magnificent
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Re: Portable, e.g., "Portable TV"
Max The Magnificent   8/18/2014 4:36:10 PM
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@Betajet: Old timers here will remember when "portable" meant "product has a really strong built-in handle...

You are right -- I'd forgotten about that -- how things have changed

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