Many in Iran denounced the dirty tricks of American and British spies, who righteously and indignantly denied what they had done. But their tricks led to widespread hatred of Americans and Brits, and to Pahlavi's overthrow in 1979 in a revolution led by religious leader Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini. That revolution fueled the hostage crisis in which the American embassy staff was held in captivity for 144 days. That hatred probably encouraged and supported worldwide terrorism against Americans.

"After that blunder," Charlie mused, "Congress probably threw more money at the CIA. My money."

Then there was the CIA's role in Chile. The CIA did not like the fact that Chile's population elected a Socialist, Salvador Allende, to be president in 1970. CIA leadership doubtless felt that Chileans had no right to elect somebody without the CIA's approval. So it organized a coup, which, in 1973, installed General Augusto Pinochet as dictator, launching a 16-year reign of terror, in which thousands of civilians disappeared or were murdered. CIA supporters continued to proclaim their unalterable condemnation of human rights abuses-in Cuba.

"After that blunder," Charlie mused, "Congress probably threw more money at the CIA. My money."

And just a few months ago, the CIA, hunting for new bombing targets in Yugoslavia, listed the Chinese embassy, mistaking the building for a military warehouse, though, in aerial photographs, it didn't resemble a warehouse at all.

"After that blunder," Charlie mused, "Congress probably threw more money at the CIA. My money. And they weren't smart enough to conceal all those blunders from the American public."

But Charlie had his own problems. One of his favorite products, one he knew was wonderful because he had designed it himself, was faring terribly in the marketplace, despite his having repeatedly increased its marketing budget.

Charlie knew just what to do. He increased its marketing budget.