For a modest fee, they wanted to improve all aspects of his physical health as well as his financial health. People offered to send him newsletters with advice on how to restore hair to his shining scalp, how to lose weight while sleeping, how to restore his lost sexuality (though he wasn't aware of having lost it), how to handle his periods of depression (which he hadn't noticed either), and even how to relieve the symptoms of pre-menstrual syndrome (which he especially had not noticed).

Yet he was grateful for their concern.

For his financial health, newsletters offered to guide him to untold wealth. They gave examples of tremendous profits made by people who invested in Microsoft, Cisco and a few others in their early days, suggesting (but not quite saying) that they had recommended those purchases at the time.

Then there were financial advisers who showed, with irrefutable arithmetic, how, if he bought 10,000 shares of a stock not yet available to the public at $1 a share, the stock would be worth $50,000 when the company went public at $5 a share, then $100,000 when share price rose to $10. Charlie checked the arithmetic and found it could not be challenged. It looked like a very handsome return.

Some of these experts were blessed with astounding wisdom. Not only did they know which stocks to buy but exactly why. Because the Internet is still in its infancy and already suffers a fantastic hunger for bandwidth, which can be satisfied only by fiber optics, the experts understood that companies like Corning, Ciena and JDS Uniphase were fantastic bargains at any price. They discouraged outmoded thoughts of earnings and price-to-earnings ratio. The modern investor did not worry about earnings, which would come, amply, at some time in the future. So they knew, a year ago, that Corning, for example, was a bargain at $110, Ciena a bargain at $150 and JDS Uniphase a bargain at $140.

Then, more recently, forgetting their early recommendations, they encouraged followers to sell Corning at $20, Ciena at $35 and JDS at $15. It is now necessary, they pointed out authoritatively, to stick to companies with strong balance sheets, long records of earnings growth and modest stock prices. How wise they were to understand the difference.

Charlie began to wonder if it might not be a good idea to consult with one of these experts.