I recently chatted with some friends in Silicon Valley-where unemployment is 7.9 percent-about what matters most in their professional and personal lives. These friends, all in their 40s, have similar feelings about the professional side. They must respect the leadership of their companies-leaders with integrity, who value marketing as a core competency and who communicate their vision and strategy.

It matters that the company continue to invest in new-product development so it will come out of this downturn stronger than the competition. And it matters, even in tough times, that leaders create a nurturing environment for their colleagues, helping them develop their skills.

It matters that everyone act ethically in dealing with customers, partners, suppliers and each other. Perhaps most of all, it matters that each person take pride in a job well-done.

So what did my Silicon Valley friends have to say about what matters in their personal lives? At the top of the list is balancing life and work, making time for family and friends. How do they stay in touch with family back East, in the Midwest or the South-or across the ocean? One solution is to send daily e-mails and use digital pictures to stay close.

It also matters to my friends that they have the funds for their children's college education and that they have enough left over for retirement. And it matters that they make time to exercise, even if it means getting up at 4:30 a.m.

One friend, whose wife's family is from Florence, Italy, told me that when it comes to balancing life and work, the Italians have their priorities straight; family, friends, food and work, in that order. I like that.

When Frank isn't brushing up on his Italian, he can be reached at fburge@cmp.com.