So if you had to buy a pitching machine for a client's Little League team to get the order, you bought it because if you didn't, the competitor would. Or if the customer hinted he'd like a color TV and in return would give you last look at the bids, it was a small price to pay for a guaranteed win. Besides, a color TV is no big deal. But then the business opportunities went global and our integrity was challenged, which means the stakes got higher. And pitching machines and color TVs were replaced with enough cash to finance four-year college scholarships for the customer's 11 children. Or whatever.

We shudder when some corporate executives cook the books or have armies of lawyers and accountants to make their voodoo accounting practices look legit. Hey, these are the same guys who in their earlier days winked at the pitching machines and color TV deals.

It may be that the only ethical guy left in town is the local barber. Senior-citizen haircuts with a beard trim are 11 bucks and the conversation and advice come free.

My barber retired three years ago and sold the business to his partner, who happens to be a great lady. She in turn took on a partner, a retired surgical nurse who was going bonkers in retirement so she went to barber college. Now, I have never questioned my lady barber's integrity, even though she wipes off the chalk marks when the local parking police come around to mark her car. She figures she has a right to park in front of her shop all day. Besides, the parking guy is one of her customers. Nobody in town complains-people respect barbers.

When Frank isn't leading the cheers at the chalk-washing ceremony, he can be reached at fburge@cmp.com.