The automobile industry finally gets around to building that car designed by Microsoft.
Scott Schaffer, Marger Johnson & McCollom, PC

And remember, junior, if you think you may have bombed the wrong building, just hit this little "Oops" button, and it will print out an "outdated" map right away.
Ashok Viswanath, LCC International Inc.

Our new cockpit replaces 857 separate instruments, gauges and warning lights with 7 electronic displays. Unfortunately, the wind direction indicator accuracy does not meet MILSPEC, so we also include a small boy who will stick his wet finger out the window on command to provide this information.
Matthew S. Brennesholtz, Philips Research

..and a right-click deploys the QJ-4617/BL-5 retractable, self-cleaning, auto-sizing, passenger-side stealth cup holder.
Dennis Born, Danka Office Imaging

Finally! Someone got that damn clock to stop blinking 12:00.
John Zelno, ViaSat Inc.

Hurry, son! We've gotta get this UFO dismantled and stashed in the garage before the Feds get here and deny it ever existed!!
Gerry Maki, Spacelabs Medical Inc.

Oh, wow! Look, it's dad. Wasn't he sitting in the pilot's seat?
Ron Seese, Chrislin Industries

And if you need to see over the instrument panel, just grab ahold up there and lift yourself up.
Carl Carter, Conexant Systems Inc.

So that's where they put the heads-up display!
Steven Tom, Rogerson Kratos

It worked! Putting Super Mario on the instrument panel was a brilliant idea.
Joseph M. Kusmiss, Mitre Corp.

Gee, dad. That's interesting. If I can't be a pilot maybe I'll be an engineer like you.
Joseph Ott, Voice Technologies Group Inc.

The pilot told us to prepare for a speedy descent. So why's he stuck to the ceiling?
Steve Umfleet, PE Biosystems

What do you mean, more 'radiation hardness testing?' Look what happened to me the last time I was involved!
Michael Cook, Rockwell Collins Inc.

'Daddy, what does "All Warheads Armed" mean?'
Thomas Smigelski, Zurich Design Laboratories Inc.

'No, that's not what I meant when I asked for a PalmPilot.'
Team EETnet: Don Swaab, Inrange Technologies, and Jim Randazzo

I better find that Y2K bug. Otherwise this thing is going to Siberia on January 1.
Yi-Hsien Doo, Texas Instruments

'But you have to give me landing priority, tower! Mom will tan my hide if I'm not in bed by 19:30!'
TeamEETnet: Don Swaab, Inrange Technologies, Zev Farkas, Maycom, and Jim Randazzo

Every model comes with its very own minitechnician.
Daniel Marderosian, Execu-Tek Corp.

'OK, kid, one last thing to remember. Should any of this high-tech electronics begin to act up, the "call mom" button is up over there.'
Harry Paller, Paller Specialty Audio

The newly redesigned Windows 2000 interface: So sim-
ple, even a child can use it!
Aaron Drajpuch, Cognex Corp.

Internet Toaster? Get on the Net and see if you can download a manual for this thing. I can't figure out where to put the bread!
John Flint, Boeing Co.

OK. OK. No longer will the lapses between IW appearances be elephantine. Happy we are to put an end to queries about our retirement. And happier still that the huge number of responses caused a lengthy opening of the nectar drawer.

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Immortal Works Archive

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