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December 20, 1999
#471
Jochen Stein

Alas . . . . Things were so much simpler as an entrepreneurial startup. Elves, a sleigh, and some flying reindeer were what we needed . . .

Steve Brown, IBM Microelectronics


When I purchased all of this equipment, I didn't realize how difficult it would be to recruit systems people to the North Pole.
Don Kirkland, LSI Logic Corp.

. . . Oh Oh Oh! The Rudolf BAD child/GOOD child satellite uplink is down... switching over to ELF (extremely low frequency) transmitters . . .
Marco Forcone, Network Peripherals Inc.

Santa's dream after he sat-a-light on top of the Christmas tree.
John Herro, Golden Enterprises Inc.

Santa ponders an IPO for universal delivery services.
Joseph M. Kusmiss, Mitre Corp.

Two things never confirmed to exist: Santa Claus and the Iridium satellite phone network.
Tony Le, Xilinx Inc.

Santa outsources toy delivery to a military defense contractor.
Team EETnet: Don Swaab (Inrange Technologies), Tom Scanlan and Jim Randazzo

Ho! Ho! Ho! Santa's Sleigh's passe,
Thanks to Windows Y2K.
The sleigh's computer controls did suddenly fail;
Expect only a lousy card via e-mail.
Laura Hellwig, Hellwig Homestead

It is getting harder and harder to complete my toy delivery in one night; I keep getting caught up in nets.
Carl Clifton, Copestone Inc.

Dr. Santa plans for global domination..jb...
Mark Klemkosky, Intel Corp.

Santa dumps Rudolph for GPS, reportedly was heard laughing and calling him names . . . . (Due to FAA delays in LAAS and WAAS precision approach capabilities, Santa won't get below 200 feet without Rudolph. If there is another foggy Christmas Eve Rudolph may have last laugh.)
Dan Artz, Universal Avionics Systems Corp.

S.D.I. - Santa Delivery Infrastructure
Stephen Mitchell, Department of Defense

Sing Along:
Jingle Bells,
Sat-phone sales,
Elves said we should buy, Guarantees, then bankruptcies,
Santa don't you cry.
Robert West, Motorola

Heck with the reindeer, Santa goes digital . . . . He's delivering presents on the information highway.
Elliot Zahn, Avnet Design Services

Motorola war room Project Santa. Goal: Retrieve Iridium satellites and return them in time for Shareholders' Convention, where pieces will be given in lieu of dividends.
Trebor Obel, Red Lion Controls

GPS has replaced RNR (Red-Nosed Reindeer) as Santa's primary navigation aid. Santa is not happy because he had to lay off the lead RNR, who was a personal friend of his. Technological obsolescence is never a pretty thing.
Matthew S. Brennesholtz , Philips Research

Welcome to eSanta.com, where all your Christmas wishes virtually come true.
David L. Williams, Integrated Measurement Systems Inc.

Determined to retaliate against the e-tailing dot-coms, a vindictive Santa demonstrates how he and his reindeer will disrupt satellite communications during Y2Klaus.
Andrew Meier, Tektronix Inc.

Santa wonders . . . with so many Iridium satellites up here, how come I only have 100 handsets to deliver?
Mark Winters, Red Lion Controls Inc.

Y2K bug hits Santa's computerized distribution network, causing the most popular toys from 1900 to be delivered.
Johnny Ancich, Dalsa

Due to a reduction in federal funding, the NSA switches from 'Echelon' to 'Santa.Net' in order to keep track of "who's naughty and nice."
Jeff Brielmaier, RadiSys Corp.

Deploring his reputation for running a fly-by-night operation, Santa embraces the 21st century in a major paradigm shift.
Richard G. Barned

Santa Claus unveils his new Satellite-based Naughty Or nice Tracking (SNOT) system.
Kevin Hicks, CSR

ohn C. Dvorak dons his special disguise to uncover the latest Microsoft/Intel plot.
Mitchell J. Hein, Paper Converting Machine Co.

Santa's Paradigm
Klaus Ochs, Tidland Corp.

Spy satellites developed for SDI have now been incorporated into the Global Santawatch program, adding real-time update capabilities to the Naughty/Nice database.
Bill Sullivan, North American Drager

Santa contemplating how to get through the World Wide Web this year.
Frank Swanson, HAL Computer Systems

Do you think we have enough batteries?
Tom Niedergeses, Bandag Inc.

Santa's sleigh crashes into Epcot Center, faulty GPS system blamed.
Max Dwyer, Autoline Inc.

Well, Mr. Gates, I believe this is what you asked for in your letter?
David D. Hagood, IFR Americas Inc.

After being declared a monopoly, Santa Claus strikes back at regulators by revealing for the first time his worldwide digital naughty/nice bit determination network. Concern over control of this vital information resource dwarfs remaining Y2K concerns.
David C. Barber, Acinta Inc.

You know, with all this technology I should now be able to get rid of those damn reindeer!
Ed Klein, EFK Systems

He's filtering his LST through an ECC.
Bob Shoultz, MTS Systems

Beam me up, Santa.
Scott Begovich, Centennial Associates

Beep Beep!! Beep Beep!!
Paging all the way...
Santa Claus is coming along via the Information Superhighway.
Anand Iyer, CMOS Soft Inc.

Goodbye, my reindeer; hello, my dear ring. With this ring and the Web, 'til death us do part.
Jackson Leung, Nanya Technology Corp.

He sees you when you're sleeping . . . . The CIA reveals the identity of one of its most covert operators.
Jon Sawyer, Honeywell Solid State Electronics Center

How Santa finds out who's been naughty and nice.
Philip Mooney, Lucent Technologies

I'm thinking I'll have to give the whole world to Mr. Gates to make him happy this year.
Jack Freudenberg, Overland Data Inc.

Why do all my elves keep quitting to become telecommunications engineers? It used to be I only had to worry about that one who wanted to be a dentist.
David Pries, Bell Atlantic Video; Katherine Gleason, The George Washington University

Chris Kringle outlines his plan for delivering to all those IP addresses.
Robert Bird, Mackenzie Laboratories Inc.

. . . this satellite thing could replace Rudolph!
Harlis Brend, American GNC Corp.

Santa in the new millennium: www.santa.com.
Sastry Vadlamini, Bharat Electronics

Building Holiday Reality through the Communication of a World Dream!
Anthony Fuqua, EMS Communications

No, I asked for a word processor, not a world processor.
Team EETNet: Don Swaab (Inrange Technologies), Zev Farkas (Maycom) and Jim Randazzo

Mr. Santa Claus has updated his Christmas gift delivery technology.
Yingli Wen, Pirelli Cables & Systems Corp.

I hope this Dyson sphere will control all this EMI.
Steven Comee, Boeing North American

Santa's attempt to modernize North Pole operations results in virtual presents. The idea is later blamed on an early Y2K glitch.
Denis Galipeau, Cherry Semiconductor Corp.

Hi, kids. Don't worry about Y2K bugs for Santa's GPS delivery system; still plenty of time for Y2K Xmas!
Francis Chen, Dragon Systems Inc.

The newly reformulated Strategic Defense Initiative has Santa pondering how he's going to safely deliver all those packages on Christmas Eve.
Stanley Wong, Mariner Networks

Uplink, downlink, crosslink. Give me the good old days when all you needed was one good Rudolph.
Bob Ginter, Penn Keystone Corp.

Santa's connected!
Eric Posey, 3Com Corp.

With e-sled, e-reindeer and e-gifts, I'll have no more cold winter nights.
Edward T. Grogan, DOD

May this Christmas card find you with peace and understanding in your heart. And as far as that $3,000, 3-pound satellite phone you're now using as a Christmas tree ornament . . . . Merry Christmas!
Robert Castellano, The Information Network

We've just finished installing the Y2K global saftey net.
Wendy Sheridan, Lucent Technologies

I wonder if anyone's studied RF exposure in airborne mammals . . . .
Joanne Bandlow, Cablevision Systems

The World Wide Web and my global distribution network sure beat that old 'miniature sleigh' and those 'eight tiny reindeer.'
Emmett Redd, Southwest Missouri State University





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