If this Gates guy can build an empire out of an operating system, I can build a body out of this.
Donald J. Dodd, Advanced Micro Controls

They told me if I worked here long enough, they'd give me a heart.
Joseph M. Kusmiss, Mitre Corp.

Clear! Clear! I'm sorry, NurseBot2-we lost him.
Greg Harrison, Harris Corp.

Bill Gates resigns, handing off the Microsoft leadership role to someone with better people skills.
Clifford Cummings, Sunburst Design Inc.

I'll get to it as soon as I finish stitching up this hole in the Internet!
Tom Loveday, Hewlett-Packard

And I thought my old co-workers had no personality.
Paul Angulo, G.E.T. Engineering

Al Gore takes a peek at his new brain prior to surgery.
Kenneth Ferraro, Honeywell

Ohhh . . . I shouldn't have had that last Ni-Cad shot.
Stefan Matalia, Mobile Satellite Services

Now that the temps at Microsoft sued for benefits and won, maybe we have a chance too!
David L. Williams, Integrated Measurement Systems Inc.

He was pulling on a woolen sweater, and his CPU suddenly went all kaflooie.
Team EETnet: Don Swaab, InRange Technologies; Zev Farkas, Maycom Ltd.; and Jim Randazzo

My father was a crash test dummy . . . ahhh! That's my dad's hand!
Johnny Ancich, Dalsa Inc.

Quick, C3PO! Hand me the wire cutters. Looks like R2D2 is giving birth to twins!
Paula Ward, MIT Lincoln Laboratory

The world's first cybernetic surgeon attempts to extricate the hand of the world's first cybernetic proctologist from a patient.
Frank Hampshire, Microcraft

Look there on the e-book son, yes, right there. It all started in the garage 300 years ago. I was playing around with a discarded crash dummy, the garbage can, a neural network, some fuzzy logic and an embedded OS, and voila, you were conceived.
Thomas Ruf, Department of Defense

Auto-Pilot's Union Meeting.
Ivan Cowie, Time Domain Corp.

Judy Jetson's prom dress undergoes a slight alteration
Chris Rausch

Dear Mr. Wizard,
I'd be brave as a blizzard....
I'd be gentle as a lizard....
I'd be clever as a gizzard....
If the Wizard is a Wizard
who will serve.
Then I'm sure to get a brain, a heart,
a home, the nerve!
Yours truly, Robbie@RUR.Kapek.com
Michael Cook, Rockwell Collins Inc.

Oh honey! It's a boy!
Deb Winslow, General Instrument Corp.

The Santa Robotic Wrapping System puts finishing touches on the last Christmas gift for 1999...on April 1, 2000.
Denis Galipeau, Cherry Semiconductor Corp.

Mum always told me that in order to get a good job, I have to go to college. Well, I did, but instead of landing a job at Cisco, I ended up being a robot on Crisco's assembly line.
Terry Fernandes, Communications Consulting Engineering

Tell him to take two lithium cells and call me in the morning.
Team EETnet: Don Swaab, InRange Technologies; Zev Farkas, Maycom Ltd.; Kathleen Fitzgerald, Ford; and Jim Randazzo

You're all alike! One quick download and you're off to drink with the guys!
Stu Bell, VentureConsult.Com Inc.

Dr. Promo, this fossil you've unearthed will force a complete reassessment of our evolutionary theory!
Ron Welch, Honeywell

R2D2 is too hard to understand, they said. C3PO is a much better conversationalist, they said. Now I'm stuck with a lab partner who just stands around and complains through the whole experiment. Sheesh!!!
Danny Abramovitch, Hewlett-Packard Labs

I see we've been nipping at the solvent again. How many times do I have to tell you that you can't drink and do this kind of work?
Thomas Wark, Raytheon

See . . . I knew that I was adopted. Schematic diagrams don't lie!
Mario Garcia, Cyberonics Inc.

Government waste in the year 2020: for every BeuroBot worker drone, there is a BossBot looking over its shoulder.
Marco Forcone, Network Peripherals Inc.

Immortal Works Archive

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