So I would slump into self-pity for a few days. My head would cloud until I couldn't focus. Sitting in the same room as my family, I would be miles away inside my head. But support from others would help me pull my focus off myself. As if a fever broke, hope would return and I would become myself again.

Encouragement has come through both helpful intentions and tangible means from many people. Friends and neighbors have provided job leads. Former colleagues have offered contract work as it has been available. My church family has stood beside me and prayed with me. Our extended family has assisted us financially and blessed us with necessities for our children. My wife and children have been an unending source of joy, who still love me as much as ever. To all of these people, I am deeply indebted.

Since writing these articles I have also received numerous uplifting e-mails from a new source: fellow engineers. Because of the occupational bond that we share, these have been particularly meaningful to me. Several notes were from unemployed engineers facing struggles similar to mine. This has been a terrific opportunity for me to pass on an encouraging word.

Early this year, rogue thoughts of inadequacy as an engineer attacked me as the fear of being unemployed grew. But thanks to what at first appeared to be an April Fool's joke, I received a terrific boost toward conquering them. On April 1-a month into official unemployment-I received an e-mail from CMP Media LLC, the publisher of EE Times, offering a scholarship for the Embedded Systems Conference in San Francisco to the first 100 respondents. I immediately hit the Web site and began filling out page after page of forms to register, all the while looking for where my credit card number was required-at which point I planned to drop out, knowing it was a gimmick. It was never required. The next thing I knew I was registered.

Stunned, I called CMP and confirmed this wasn't an April Fool's joke. I was in ecstatic shock.

I've always wanted to go to the conference but when I had a steady job and an adequate income, I couldn't afford it. Now, unemployed, I was suddenly going. How could I afford this? But I had to go! The opportunities combined with the timing were unimaginable.

After making arrangements to stay with friends in Palo Alto, buying a 10-pass CalTrain ticket to San Francisco and finding the cheapest flight from Richmond, Va., I was ready. The conference was a huge boost to my morale (plus, for an embedded engineer ESC tops Disneyland). I made some terrific contacts and learned much. I found I was able speak the same language with other engineers. This was so reassuring. Though I didn't return home with a job, I came back as a confident embedded-systems engineer who just happens to be looking for work. Those rogue thoughts of before are nowhere to be found. And the total bill for my trip: $576. (Fellow engineers, don't let your managers know that it is possible to be this parsimonious!)

As I conclude my articles, I want to express my gratitude to [EE Times editor-in-chief] Brian Fuller and the staff at CMP for granting me this opportunity to write my story. I was guided with an outline but was given freedom to write it my own way. I am thrilled at how close my drafts and the printed versions are. For this, I thank them.

I continue to look forward to what's next on this journey, whether it is growing my company or becoming an employee of another one. The journey-not the destination-is what matters, because this is where life is lived. A passage from the Bible best describes this episode of my journey: ". . . tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint . . ."

This continuing series on EE unemployment is available online at www.eet.com/op/diary. David Knuth can be reached at dknuth@inter-stitial.com.