I now had ample time to plan for my next career step, but first I had to conquer each day to get there. Early on in my unemployment, my wife encouraged me to keep a normal daily routine, such as getting dressed, shaving and doing something productive with my day. It is good advice and is critical for good mental health.

I start my day at 5:30 a.m. by walking two miles. I also spend the time praying about the day ahead, which strengthens me spiritually. Then I dress as if I were going to an office, avoiding T-shirts and shorts. I also put in a full day in my home office-even if the work is looking for a job or learning a new technology.

I take time periodically to make entries in my journal-something I've kept on and off since the seventh grade. I want to record this episode in my life so that I can learn from it, complete with all its highs and lows. Some days are real battles as I struggle to keep from giving in to lethargy. Other days I am full of excitement about the future. In general, the amplitude of my emotional oscillations is large, but writing about my experiences helps dampen it.

I asked myself what I should do next, and graduate school popped up suddenly on my radar screen: Another degree might help me start again. Now could be the time to take the plunge. Yet paying for school while earning no income-and supporting a household-was a tough pill to swallow. And I'd spent 13 years constantly learning on the job; how could formal schooling help me now? I still don't know the answer, but grad school has faded from the screen.

I reread my journal entries from the past decade and saw several musings about starting my own company. In the journal, I go into great detail about what the business would be like. My plan was to grow it gradually from an after-hours hobby of designing and building widgets to a full-time business once sales proved that my widget was in demand. But I'd never done anything about it. I could now-but I opted for practicality and focused instead on looking for a job.

An out-of-the-blue phone call from a former colleague led me to another temporary job upgrading 25,000 Apple iBooks for a local school district-something I could do. This wasn't engineering, but it was work. One catch was that as a contractor I had to be incorporated. This was the push I needed. I am now president of Interstitial Inc., a single-person engineering company that offers contract software engineering to fill the niche, or interstice, between a client's technical needs and solutions.

The company has gotten off to a successful, albeit unconventional, start. None of my current clients was someone I solicited: They all found me, through word of mouth. Over the past several months I have been blessed with half-a-dozen clients for whom I have done everything from PIC programming to computer training, from e-commerce Web site development to custom software for digital photographers, from database design to Unix system administration. My journal entries have come to life, though not in the way I had planned.

An ironic twist is that Interstitial must pay an unemployment tax to the state employment commission-the same organization that had provided me with unemployment benefits. This, and myriad other fees and taxes, has made me appreciate the efforts required to make a business survive.

Now, however, I have a hard time defining my role as a breadwinner. Am I an unemployed engineer, or am I the leader of a struggling startup? Do I continue to look for a job that involves working for another company, or do I try to acquire more clients?

These questions are losing their emotional punch, however, since contract work has provided enough financial relief to make finding a "real" job less urgent. I can watch and wait for the economy to recover, holding out for the right position. My conscience will not allow me to accept a job if I know it is only a crutch until I find something better. That would be unfair to the employer and would damage my resume-something I have found needs a lot of help.

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